Not In Jersey: Am I An Introvert? Am I An Introvert? - Not In Jersey

Sunday, September 15, 2013

Am I An Introvert?

Lately I’ve found myself making statements such as:

I can’t be on any committees or even attend meetings. I’m an introvert and it’s too hard for me.


I can’t entertain large groups of people – I’m an introvert.

But I’m starting to wonder. Am I actually an introvert or do I just have social anxiety?


The thing is, I’m actually not that quiet. I also tend to blurt things out without fully thinking them through. Apparently, if I was an introvert, I would not talk without thinking first. I definitely do like to be alone, but I wouldn’t say I find social events to be draining.

I took the personality test here and my results say I’m an ISFJ – Introverted, Sensing, Feeling, and Judging. Some of the results definitely describe me:


However, I was surprised that the possible careers for ISFJs always include helping professions, such as social work. Because for me, social work didn’t work out when I realized I actually don’t like people. Ok, that isn’t entirely true. I like some people. Anyway, I wondered how an introvert deals with a job in social work or the like, when you have to interact with people constantly. Then I realized that introverts don’t necessarily have issues interacting with people, they just need time to recover afterwards. On the other hand, socially anxious people do have trouble interacting with others.

“Social anxiety is a discomfort or a fear when a person is in social interactions that involve a concern about being judged or evaluated by others. It is typically characterized by an intense fear of what others are thinking about them (specifically fear of embarrassment, criticism, or rejection), which results in the individual feeling insecure, and that they are not good enough for other people. The results of this are fear and anxiety within social situations, and the assumption that peers will automatically reject them in the social situations.” [source]

At times, that paragraph is me exactly. I found an article which compares introverts to people who are shy to people who might have social anxiety. To be honest, I don’t see myself in any of the described categories!


I enjoy being with people, especially my friends, but the larger the group, the less I will speak. I love to be alone. I both talk about myself and listen to what others have to say. If I feel later that I said something stupid or annoying, I worry that whoever I was speaking to will remember and like me less for it. I do not speak to fill silence. I also don’t avoid speaking, unless I am required to make a point, in which case I prefer to make it in writing.

So after all of this, I still don’t know if I can honestly claim to be an introvert, and I also don’t know if it really matters. I am who I am, I guess! Who are you?


Janine Huldie said...

It is ironic, because I was definitely (or least I thought O was) an introvert as a child and even as a teen. It was only once I was in college that I became more outgoing and then once I began to work I was definitely more of extrovert by that and that is what I am now, too. But I loved reading a bit more about this, because even now personalities and psychology truly fascinates me (why I took a minor in it in college).

Leslie @ Violet Imperfection said...

The paragraph on social anxiety describes me perfectly. The thing is when I'm surrounded by people who I know love and support me then it is a lot easier to handle social situations.

Dara said...

I feel like I'm kind of in between! I'm just not sure!

Tamara Bowman said...

I got: ENFJ. Extravert (11%) Intuitive (50%) Feeling (69%) Judging (33%)
Sounds about right. I think I may be a true ambivert - I have equal traits of both, I always think.

Dara said...

I'm not sure about me as an ambivert. I may look more into that one!

Melissa Lea-Wood said...

I suspect I'm extrovert because I love entertaining a crowd of people I personally think you should be who you are if we were all the same life would be BORING!!

Dara said...

I agree, I'm not wanting to change, just trying to know myself better!

Lanaya | Raising Reagan said...

I am a definite Type A personality ... I love talking to people and bringing people out of their shell. I don't mind being the life of the party :)

I'm sure you know that though LOL

(¸¤ Lanaya | xoxo

Dara said...

I may be the opposite of you!

Holly Higgins said...

I don't think that I am necessarily an introvert, but I definitely have introvert tendencies. I tend to keep quiet in large groups of people but I definitely will speak if it me and a few others. I do love to entertain though!

Dara said...

you sound a bit like me too! I do like to have friends over but I get stressed before hand!

Ronni said...

I used to be INFP, but the new quizzes are grading me as ISFJ! It's kinda weird. But really interesting. Maybe we change as we get older.

Dara said...

if you are isfj we are the same! I don't understand it so much really. I kept getting all confused!

Holly Higgins said...

A has told me that I'm not allowed to have anymore parties because they almost always result in an argument between us beforehand because I get so stressed.

Dara said...

oh no, that's not good!