Not In Jersey: Tuesday Topics–1 Guilty Pleasure Tuesday Topics–1 Guilty Pleasure - Not In Jersey

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Tuesday Topics–1 Guilty Pleasure

The Austin Family Diary
I bet if you’re a mother you’ve experienced Mommy Guilt. No? Well lucky you. And I’m only getting upset at you for never experiencing it because I feel guilty that I have.

Let me back up a bit. As you know I’m a stay at home mom, but when Gabbie was a baby I worked. When she was 5 months old I accepted a job as a school counselor, replacing someone while she was on maternity leave. The minute I took the job and hung up the phone, I started to cry because I’d be leaving my baby. That job only lasted a short time, but I worked 2 other jobs between then and the time Zachary was born and therefore Gabbie went to daycare. After Zachary was born, Gabbie continued going to daycare a few days per week over that first summer – and that’s when the Mommy Guilt officially started – I’m a stay at home mom but my child goes to daycare.

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Just to get all the justifications out of the way – Gabbie only stayed in daycare for that summer when Zachary was a newborn. Then she started preschool at age 3 – she went 3 days a week and Zachary was at home with me. Next, Zachary started preschool at age 2 – he went 2 days a week. I was pregnant with Simon and therefore had those few hours to myself. Guilty. Finally, Simon went to preschool last year one day a week (January-May) and this year two days a week. I am by myself for 3.5 hours twice a week and I love it. Majorly guilty.

To make clear what I’m saying here: My guilty pleasure is the few hours a week I get to myself when all my kids are all at school. When I get to be in the house in silence, with no one on top of me or asking me for things. When I can go to the store and shop without having to distract someone else. When I only need to take care of myself.

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Have you ever noticed that people get offended if you accuse them of something that is true? That’s probably because they feel guilty about it. If I lose those few hours I kind of freak out. I have become a little dependent on having them. And so, when there are a bunch of snow days in a row and a few days of sick kids at home and I don’t get my few hours off, I get stressed. And then if you say to me “Why are you upset? Enjoy this time with your kids!” that makes me feel worse, because I realize I don’t enjoy them when they are home when they aren’t supposed to be. And then I feel guilty. And get upset at you. When I’m really upset at me.

So yes, I do love my kids. But I also love when they’re not home. And I most definitely feel guilty about that.

Also linking to:
Mommy-Brain Mixer

11 comments:

Lauren {at} Life.Love.Lauren said...

I am not a mother yet, but this is the best post by far.

Kenzie Smith said...

I know the feeling, sometimes when I take my son to the sitter so I can go get my hair or nails done I feel a little guilty.. but I try not to because us mommas need pampered too!
Stopping by from Tuesday Topics ♥

Raising Reagan said...

I have learned to let go of the guilt when I take some time for myself. In the beginning it was super hard but now you realize for your sanity it is absolutely imperative!

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(¸¤ Lanaya | xoxo
www.raising-reagan.com

Erin said...

Aww, I think this is such a great post. I'm not a momma yet, but I can easily see myself feeling just like you do! You deserve those few hours of alone time, remember that!!! :)

ShaunaQ said...

I understand where you're coming from. I stay up really late for those uninterrupted hours. I stay up long past when husband and kids go to bed. That's my time. My husband always wants to come to bed and get some sleep but I don't want to! And I feel guilty because I'm sure he'd like me next to him.

And then when my youngest takes a nap and decides not to go to bed until midnight it cuts into "my time!" I'm right there with you.

Breenah said...

Part of me is highly looking forward to preschool because all day every day is a LOT of time with a toddler.

Anne Hill said...

I think every mom deserves a guilty pleasure! Except we should just stop feeling guilty about it!

Mel@Mellywood's Mansion said...

You shouldn't feel guilty. I have my two little ones go to day care and those hours are pre ions to me. I do however completely understand try not to be worried I'm sure they enjoy their time away as well.

Leslie @ Violet Imperfection said...

Mom guilt is the worse. I feel guilty when I have my mom watch Violet for a few hours and I only have one kid so I can imagine how precious those hours are to you. No guilt!

Tiffany @ Austin Family Diary said...

I'm already worried about how I'm going to get my "free time" once baby A is here. I don't think that's worthy of being mom guilt...I think it's just human nature :) this was a great post!

Sara said...

If someone says they've never felt 'the guilt' they are lying! Thanks for linking up today :) Following/commenting from http://fluffimama.blogspot.com/2013/03/